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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

10 Video Game Studs I would Go Gay for:

Part 1

Few men are fine enough to make me want to penetrate them. Will Smith and the Late Bea Arthur being the top two. However, in the fictional world there are a horde of men that I would make passionate anal love to in a matter of seconds.

10: Master Chief

Alright let’s get the obvious out of the way. Master Chief; the Lord of frat guys and tween boys all over the world. Too many a time have I woken to a sticky grenade in my pants due to this godlike man. Alright, he probably can’t cook and he wouldn’t be gentle, but a sex tape with him would land me millions and that’s all I need. Maybe If I’m lucky he won’t “Shoot his way out” when he’s done.

“Like a fire hose that hits you in the face...then your face is gone”

9: Mario:

He’s Italian. This man would definitely show me a good time. He would take me out to a nice dinner, show me around Rome, and even let me drive his moped! We would then go back to his place for pizza and coffee. After many hours of delightful conversation we would proceed to clean each other’s pipes for hours on end. Sure he probably wouldn’t have much money, but he would love me for who I am.

"The princess is in another castle...but I'm here for you...always"

8: Solid Snake:

This man is most likely the best love maker mankind has ever seen. He’s a real man’s man. He’s a pretty blunt man though and I assume we would skip all the formalities and go straight to the fucking. Let’s just hope he doesn't get a call midway through.

"True Beauty"

7: Toon Link from Super Smash Brothers. Because I’m a pervert ...And look at that ass.

"What's your final smash?"

6: Ezio Auditore da Firenze: Yet another Italian (see Mario). This man is an expert at giving it from behind, something that would definitely benefit gay sexing. He’d also be pretty great at getting rid of evil X boyfriends. To be honest the main factor for him …he’s hot. I WOULD DO INSANE THINGS TO HIM.

…He’s really hot….

So…I have to go….do something…. part 2 will come soon.

"Animus? More like ANALmus."

(I'm sorry for that)

Bonus: Xerxes.

Because I wanted to use this picture.



Thursday, November 25, 2010

How to Discover New Music

So if you know me very well at all you know that one thing I'm very passionate about is music. I'm even the music manager at the Hastings here in town. When people hear some of the bands I like or I'm showing them something I think they might like I'm often asked "How do you find all this music?". Well This little blog post here is going to answer that question once and for all. I hope it is helpful to you and that you will soon reach my level of music snobbery.

will list for you the four main ways I discover music, these are in no particular order.

1. Last.FM

Last.FM is a social media website that helps you keep track of the music you listen to and connect you to other users with similar tastes. The site also uses this data to refer you to music you might like based on your listening. It collects this data but installing a plug in in your iTunes or Windows Media Player or whatever you use and it keeps track of what you listen to and how much and other things like that. You can also have it upload your data from your iPod when you connect it to your computer. It is a really nifty site and you should join and send me a friend request. Here is my page My Last.FM

2. Friends

Friends is a great way to find new music! This is honestly one of the main ways I find new music. All you gotta do is ask what they've been listening to. Thats all there really is to it .... yep

3. Pandora

Pandora is a website most of you probably already know. For those of you new to the internet Pandora is a website that lets you create your own radio station. It's rather simple, you simply enter a band name or song title that you enjoy and would like to hear something else of the same sorts. Pandora then plays a song by that band and then plays songs by similar bands based on the formula they use. You can help Pandora learn about your tastes by letting it know if you like or dislike the song.


KEXP is an awesome radio station out of Seattle. You can listen to the station on your computer or from your iphone, I'm sure they have apps for other phones as well. KEXP plays all sorts of music, things you have probably heard before and others I don't think anyone has ever. They also have bands to their studios to put on a performance from time to time.

5. NPR

NPR, also known as National Public Radio, plays some pretty rad music if you know when and how to listen. My favorite NPR music show has to be All Songs Considered, its pretty much like having a music nerd just throw awesome new music at your ears for about an hour. You can listen to NPR's music shows in quite a few different ways, you can either go to the website or you could download the podcasts from the iTunes store or if your super fancy (like myself) you can download the NPR Music iPhone app (The NPR News app also has some great shows but not that many related to music)

I help this post has been useful to at least someone out there. Let me know how YOU find new music, maybe you have some great methods I had never thought of.

R.I.P. Frank The Goomba

Friends, Family, Loved Ones, I wish that I was coming before you today in better circumstances but alas I am not. We gather here today to mourn the loss of a great friend and a great father. Frank was one of the good ones, he never complained about the mundane nature of his work or the fact that the scenery didn’t change much but every single morning you’d find him progressively moving towards the left side of the screen. In fact, Frank might have just been the best goomba in the entire mushroom kingdom! Today is truly a dark dark day for all of goomba kind. So here I am with the unfortunate task of delivering Franks eulogy and telling you his entire great legacy.

For those of you still not in the know Frank went to work last Thursday like any other day and took his position and then slowly but surely began to move towards the left side of the screen. That’s when everything went wrong. All of a sudden that menace of our great kingdom Mario showed up and started walking towards Frank and as the two were about to make contact and Frank would have had the upper hand that dirty plumber pulled a sucker punch and jumped! That’s right he jumped right into the air and landed on poor Franks head and ended Franks life and Bonnie and Frank Jr.’s hopes of ever seeing their father again.

Frank grew up the child of a single mother and in a very poor household. His mother was a goomba of class who had been through some hard times. Frank helped out his mother as much as he could but she was a strong goomba and very supportive of Frank so he was off to school.

At Bowser University he majored in moving to the left as many of us did, he struggled with his classes but kept at it. It was only later that he found out he had a learning condition and that’s why he always wanted to move to the right in his classes. He overcame his struggles and graduated at the top of his class and his mother was there in the front row and was the proudest goomba in the whole kingdom.

After college Frank searched all over the mushroom kingdom for a job, however the kingdom had fallen on rough times and it was hard to come across a good job. As we all know the coin at that time just wasn’t worth as many points as it once was. So Frank kept at it and kept at it and was determined and he finally got a job and stage 1-2. I remember asking Frank what the toughest part of his job was and I’ll never forget what he told me, he said “The hardest part? It’s the same part that we all find so difficult, looking so pissed off all the time” And it was on that very stage that Frank me the love of his life, a beautiful goomba names Gwyneth. Frank and Gwyneth fell in love and went on to get married and form their very own family. Frank was a lucky goomba to say the least.

Frank was cut down in the prime of his life but he wouldn’t want us to all be moping around here. Frank had a passion for life and a passion for serving our great leader Bowser. Frank was the best at what he did and died doing what he loved to do. So brothers and sisters let us not be sad and depressed let us remember the good times and celebrate the life of what was truly one of the mushroom kingdoms greatest goombas ever. Like Frank once said “Life is short, you just gotta take it one step to the left at a time and live it to the fullest.”

My All Time Favorite Cover Songs

Theres something really great about a good cover song. I've always had a soft spot for cover songs, I truly love them ... a lot. It's something familiar but very different at the same time. I think its also really neat how something so familiar to you can seem so brand new at the same time as well. Then theres the cover songs that sneak up on you, you'll just be sitting there listening to music and something will catch your ear, you start paying a little bit more attention, then ... "HEY I KNOW THIS SONG!!" I think we have all had a moment kind of like that. Anyways here are my top ten favorite cover songs of all time, in no particular order. I have provided links for both the cover of the song and the original song.

10. Regina Spektor - No Surprises (Originally by Radiohead)
This shouldn't really surprise anyone. I mean Regian Spektor is amazing, Radiohead is amazing, how was this going to turn out even remotely bad?

(Cover - Original - )

9. Karen O and The Kids - Worried Shoes (Originally by Daniel Johnston)

This song is simply amazing. The lyrics are really clever and emotion filled. The original song is pretty good but then you get Karen O's angelic voice involved and then you really go something going!

(cover - Original - )

8. Muse - Feeling Good (Originally by Michael Buble)

So I'm not exactly a Michael Buble fan but I certainly am a fan of Muse! This song is really uplifting and totally sounds like a James Bond theme song.

(cover - Original - )

7. Flaming Lips Do Dark Side Of The Moon (Originally by Pink Floyd)

Ok so this one is actually an entire album being covered, and it features Henry Rollins, peaches, and Stardeath and The White Dwarves. This album is pretty brilliant and a total trip. For your consideration I have included their cover of Money as well as the original version by Pink Floyd.

(Cover - Original - )

6. Cake - I Will Survive (Originally By Gloria Gaynor)

Cake is awesome, this song is awesome. If your having a bad day you can just listen to this song and feel waaaayyyy better! If you don't like this song your an emotionless boring dull shell of a person.

(cover - Original - )

5. Taken By Trees - My Boys (Originally by Animal Collective)

I love the lyrics in this song, it's so simple. The song is just about desiring the necessities for his daughters, its so pure and honest. By the way this song was originally titled "My Girls" but in the cover its a girl singing so she changed it to boys.

(Cover - Original - )

4. Smashing Pumpkins - Landslide (Originally by Fleetwood Mac)

Its a classic, come on.

(Cover - Original - )

3. Glen Hansard amd Marketa Irglova - You Ain't Goin' Nowhere (Originally by Bob Dylan)

Not exactly the most famous Dylan song, but its a really great song and deserves your time. Also Hansard has an incredible voice. This song is taken from the I'm Not There Soundtrack which, by the way, is incredible!!

(Cover - Original - )

2. Cat Power - Naked (If I Want To) (Originally by Moby Grape)

I've never really listened to the original song but I love me some Cat Power. Shes incredible and has a lot of great covers but this one is my favorite, easily. I like the lyrics a lot too. P.S. I'd let Cat Power walk down my street naked.

(Cover - Original - )

1. They Might Be Giants - New York City (Originally by Cub)

Most of you won't like this song, but that's ok, because I do. It's stupid and romantic and I love it. The original version is also a great song but I have and will always prefer the TMBG version.

(Cover - Original - )

So there you go! I hope you enjoyed my list! What are your favorite cover songs?


oh yeah I almost forgot, I have one more for you

The Shins - Wipe My Butt (Originally by Tim & Eric)

This is simply .... amazing

(Cover - Original - (this has some other tim and eric songs too but I couldn't find just Wipe My Butt) )